Self-talk has a bigger impact on your well-being and how you show up in this world than you may think.
The thoughts you have about yourself both conscious and subconscious, affect the way you feel about yourself, how you take care of yourself (or neglect to), your relationships, and so much more.
Because this inner dialogue influences your emotions and actions so deeply, it’s important to be mindful of the quality of these conversations.
When I look back at the way I used to think about and talk to myself, it’s no wonder I struggled so much with loving myself.
From a very young age (I’m talking before I even started kindergarten), it became so easy for me to hate on myself and pick apart everything I felt was wrong with me. I didn’t realize it then of course but this set a very weak foundation for any kind of healthy self-relationship to grow. As I grew older, the weaker my self-esteem grew and the more damaging my self-relationship became.
When I finally embarked on my personal self-healing journey, I realized how important self-talk was for my health and happiness. I began to transform the toxic relationship I had with myself into a more positive and empowering one, all by shifting the way I spoke to myself deep in the depths of my mind.
To be honest, it was shocking when I became aware of just how often these negative thoughts, comments, and feelings I had about myself came to the surface.
And I never realized how serious it was or how greatly they impacted me until after I started actively working on bettering them.
Since I have personally experienced the far-reaching benefits this inner work has to offer, I felt compelled to share some valuable tips for you.
Keep the following things in mind as you shift your self-talk, grow self-love and enhance your life:
Raise your awareness. Self-talk is so natural that you may not even realize what you’ve been saying to yourself all these years, but you must become conscious of the commentary you have going on within your mind. Raising your awareness is the first step in recognizing where you stand with yourself and what your self-talk looks like so you know where to focus your energy to make the necessary changes.
Try this: To help you bring more awareness to your self-talk, consider carrying a small notebook around with you maybe for a week or two. Tune into the thoughts you have about yourself throughout the day, anytime a negative thought jumps into your head that is directed towards yourself, make a note of it. It’s going to take some time to get into the habit of being more mindful of your thoughts, especially when you’re not used to paying them much attention, so be patient with yourself.
Disrupt old patterns. Once you have the awareness and can recognize when negative self-talk comes through, the next step is to shift these thoughts into more positive ones. Dedicate yourself to taking action when you notice a negative thought pattern, instead of sitting in the insults and belittling comments, give yourself a pep talk, compliment yourself and focus your energy towards what you’re doing right instead of what you think you’re doing wrong.
Be consistent. We often need to hear a message multiple times before we accept it. Your positive inner dialogue will grow over time with practice, just keep at it consistently, you will be glad that you did, I promise!
Gain some perspective. When we are accustomed to negative self-talk, it’s easy to get caught up in this cycle of making things bigger than they are, for the sake of putting ourselves down. Remember, there’s a vast difference between making a mistake and being a complete failure in life. Don’t allow a moment, decision, or experience to take control and dictate your self-worth.
Have a growth-focused perspective. Self-talk won't make the challenges of life magically disappear, but it can help you respond more constructively. Instead of criticizing yourself for a past misstep, concentrate on what you can do better in the future and allow your choices and experiences to add to your growth as a person.
Instead of saying “I’m damaged, I’m broken, I have trust issues,” say “I’m healing, I’m rediscovering myself, I’m starting over.” Positive self-talk. - Horacio Jones
Channel your self-talk to start moving in a positive direction. Get in touch with the thoughts that automatically run through your head and turn them into a steady stream of inspiring motivation. In the process, you will strengthen your self-love, self-worth and enjoy a more fulfilling life.